Not Speaking To Each Other???


By: George R Warsaw, Ph.D.

You can learn how to resolve conflict. Here are some ideas:

Always make sure there are no children within hearing distance, and sit down at the kitchen table with pens and paper for note-taking.

The key to this process is to develop the habit of understanding the other person’s point of view before arguing yours. Even if you think, “I already know what she, for example, will say,” please listen to the other person first. She needs to be heard. Then tell her what you understand. Even if she replies with, “That’s not quite what I mean,” ask her for clarification so you will understand.

Be patient and make necessary adjustments to telling her what you understand until she nods or says, “Yes. You’ve got it.”

Then it’s your turn to be understood. After she’s gotten a grasp on your point of view, you can begin to talk about the issue. Keep blame out of the discussion; talk about the issue only. No yelling. No name-calling. If tempers escalate, suggest a time-out: “Let’s take a break for 15 minutes to cool down and collect our thoughts.” When you return, speak calmly and respectfully to each other. Always treat the other person the way you’d like to be treated.

“Together you can achieve what one, alone, cannot.” (K. Gibran)